Me & Beast Boy
by Al Baeto101
Summary: Yup! I kidnapped Beast Boy! :D Now he must deal with my crazy life. How will he cope with it? Read and find out! And . . . . HE MAULED RAVEN! XD Beast Boy:I DID NOT!
1. How I Did It

Me: HELLO FANFICTION LOVERS! XD

Beast Boy: Are you high or something?

Me: . . . . no?

Beast Boy: . . . .

Me: Well if you guys haven't noticed yet, I kidnapped Beast Boy.

Beast Boy: And?

Me: -sighs- Ok fine. -pouts- Me and my cousin Michelle (spycutie009) both kidnapped Beast Boy, and now we share him. There, happy?

Beast Boy: :)

Me: Ok so like most kidnappers do, I'm gonna post my story of how I kidnapped Beast Boy.

Beast Boy: You didn't really kidnapped me. You just whined and bothered Michelle soo much, that she let you share me.

Me: -whacks with herring-

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything. ZADA!**

* * *

**~~~At The El Rio Frio~~~**

Michelle: -walks in with Max and BB-

Me: Hey cuz. Hey Max and . . . . Beast Boy?

Michelle: Oh yeah. I kidnapped him.

Me: How the hell did you kidnapped him?

Michelle: Well it all started when Max went home and me and Andre were-

Me and Max: PLEASE NO FLASHBACK!

Michelle: Well you don't have to be testy!

Me: . . . .

Max: I'm just as surprised as you are.

Me: -pouts-

Michelle: Why pout?

Me: Because I wanna kidnapped someone! -pouts-

Michelle, Max, and BB: . . . .

Me: -stares at BB-

Beast Boy: . . . . why are you staring at me?

Me: Hmmmm. -thinks-

Michelle: -catches on- NO.

Me: But why? -whines-

Michelle: Because I said so.

Me: But.

Michelle: No you can't have Beast Boy. I kidnapped him.

Beast Boy: . . . .

Me: -begs- Please. Please. Please. Please.

_~Lots of whining and begging and pleases later~_

Me: Please. Please. Plea-

Michelle: OK FINE! -sighs- We can share him.

Me: YEAH!

Beast Boy: . . . . don't I get a say in anything?

Me and Michelle: NOPE!

Beast Boy: . . . .

Max: Hehe better you than me.

* * *

Me: And that's how I did it! :D

Beast Boy: . . . . what a strange strange kidnapping story.

Me: I would show you guys how Michelle kidnapped Beast Boy, but I'm too lazy to do it.

Beast Boy: Wow . . . . laziness.

Me: BYEZ! :D

Andrew&BB


	2. Crappy Poetry and Video Games

Me: Hola. Guess where we're going today?

Beast Boy: To set me free?

Me: HELL NO! XD

Beast Boy: -pouts-

Me: We're going to a house.

Beast Boy: Ehhh which one?

Me: One of my people.

Beast Boy: Hmmmmm your people which is Evelyn, Michelle, Chris, or Mike.

Me: It's Evelyn.

Beast Boy: Oh crap.

Me: Let's go! I own nada, nothing.

* * *

Me: What up cuz!

Evelyn: Nothing much. Yeah! You brought BB!

Beast Boy: . . . . hi Evelyn.

Me: . . . . I'm bored.

Evelyn: I wanna post some poems.

Me: -whines- But your poems suck.

Evelyn: Gosh Andrea, you whine as much as Beast Boy.

Me: -glares-

Beast Boy: Hey! I don't whine!

Me and Evelyn: Yes you do.

Beast Boy: -glares-

Evelyn: I'm just gonna post some.

Me: -sighs- Fine. -pouts-

**B**east Boy's a

**B**ig whiner =P

Beast Boy: -glares- Grrrrrr.

Evelyn: Oh you know you love me.

Beast Boy: No I don't.

Evelyn: YOU DON"T LOVE ME? -sobs-

Me: . . . . wait! You still have Iggy.

Evelyn: Oh yeah! I shall kidnapped Iggy!

Me and BB: . . . .

Me: Just do another crappy poem.

Evelyn: -glares- Fine.

**Baven**

**Which rhymes with Raven**

**Who Beast Boy is cravin ;)**

Beast Boy: -turns red-

Me: Didn't Max write this poem?

Evelyn: Yes she did.

**If Beast Boy was gay**

**Robin would shout horray**

**Cause hey, they cute gay lovers anyway**

Beast Boy: . . . .

Evelyn: Did I brake him?

Me: Yes Evo, yes you did.

Evelyn: -glares- Don't call me that Andrea!

Me: Stop calling me that Evo!

Evelyn: Well it's either Andrea or Selena Gomez's brother!

Me: . . . . call me Andrew, and I'll call you Evelyn, deal?

Evelyn: . . . . deal. -pouts-

Beast Boy: . . . .

Evelyn: I think he's still broken.

Beast Boy: . . . .

Me: I got this. BEAST BOY! I SHALL DESTROY YOU AT VIDEO GAMES!

Beast Boy: NOT IF I BEAT YOU FIRST!

Evelyn: -sighs- I guess we're playing Wii.

_~One Wii Tennis Game Later~_

Beast Boy: -pouts-

Me: Ha! -points to BB- I pwned you! Call me "Sir Andrew of Awesomeness"!

Beast Boy: -pouts-

Evelyn: -mutters- More like "Sir Andrew of Dumbassness".

Evelyn and BB: -snickers-

Me: -glares- Grrrrrrrr.

Evelyn: Oh no you didn't just grrrred at me!

Me: Grrrrrrrr

Evelyn: Grrrrrrrrrrr that's it! DIE!

Me: BRING IT!

Me and Evelyn: -wrestles-

Beast Boy: -eats popcorn- This is awesome.

Cyborg: -appears with popcorn- I know right! Better than cable. -eats popcorn-

Me and Evelyn: -stops wrestling-

Evelyn: What the crap!

Me: Cyborg?

Cyborg: What?

Me: Begone!

Cyborg: -disappears-

Beast Boy: . . . . duuuude!

Evelyn: How did you do that?

Me: Through the awesome power of fanfiction and imagination!

Beast Boy: . . . . I believe you are high Selena Gomez's brother.

Me: -glares- Round two? -holds up Wii remote-

Beast Boy: -smiles evilly- Oh it's on.

_~Another Game of Wii Tennis Later~_

Me: Ha! I win! AGAIN!

Beast Boy: CHEATER!

Me: -glares-

Evelyn: I got an idea! Let's drug Beast Boy.

Beast Boy: . . . .

Me: Awesome idea!

Beast Boy: Dude! Not awesome!

Me: Fine. We won't drug you. -pouts-

Evelyn: Awwww. -pouts-

Me: . . . . I didn't noticed this until just now but, where is Jr.?

Beast Boy: I know right.

Evelyn: He's at Xavier's house.

Me: Cool.

Evelyn: . . . .

Beast Boy: . . . .

Me: . . . .

Evelyn: . . . .

Beast Boy: . . . . I'm bored.

Evelyn: Me too.

Beast Boy: . . . .

Evelyn: . . . .

Me: . . . . You spin me round round-

Me and Evelyn: baby round round like a rocket baby round round round round.

Beast Boy: . . . . you guys are weird.

Evelyn: -British accent- Why thank you BBlicious. It's soo hard to be weird now at days.

Me and BB: . . . .

* * *

Beast Boy: . . . . your cousins sure are-

Me: Awesome? Different? Random?

Beast Boy: I was gonna say weird, but those work too.

Me: You think we're awesome. :D

Beast Boy: I was talking about the last two.

Me: -glares-

R&R

Andrew&BB


	3. 10 Reasons

Me: Hi. Sorry we haven't updated in a while, but I was very busy.

Beast Boy: . . . . no you weren't.

Me: Shut it.

Beast Boy: -shuts up-

Me: Anyways, me and Michelle don't share Beast Boy anymore. So now he's my captive. This is also a special chapter. You wanna know why?

Beast Boy: . . . . not really.

Me: -whacks- It's special because in this chapter, I'll be explaining 10 possible reasons why BB can't get a girl.

Beast Boy: I hate this chapter. -pouts-

Me: Oh well, some of these reasons are pretty dum. Reason one!

**1. He saids 'dude' all the time.**

Beast Boy: Dude, that's a stupid reason.

Me: See?

Beast Boy: -glares-

**2. His jokes are super lame and not really funny.**

Beast Boy: My jokes are plenty funny!

Me: Name one person who thinks your jokes are funny.

Beast Boy: Michelle.

Me: That was once, and only because you accidentally censored yourself when telling the joke.

Beast Boy: -pouts- It still counts.

Me: Sure it does. -sarcasm-

Beast Boy: -glares-

**3. He is too gullible.**

Me: Ok, me and my cousins were thinking about this one for a while and got reasons for this reason.

R1- Beast Boy fell in love with Terra, and let her toy around with his emotions, and Beast Boy keeps forgiving Terra after all she did to him.

Beast Boy: . . . . no comment.

R2- In Trouble in Tokyo,Beast Boy actually thought that japanese girl was an actual girl instead of an ink-person.

Beast Boy: That one was not my fault.

Me: True.

**4. He is in love with Raven and only wants to be with her.**

Beast Boy: -turns red- Again, no comment.

**5. He sucks at video games. =P**

Beast Boy: That is not true.

Me: -holds up controller- Wanna bet?

Beast Boy: -holds up controller- Hell yea.

_~One Game Later~_

Me: I won! Told you. :D

Beast Boy: -pouts-

**6. He mauled Raven. XD**

Beast Boy: -sighs- You will never let that go will you?

Me: Hell no. I'm glad Max discovered the picture.

Beast Boy: Not me.

**7. He's green.**

Beast Boy: Oh my god! -points at me- Racist!

Me: -glares- I was kidding.

Beast Boy: LIES!

Me: -glares-

**8. He's a pervert.**

Beast Boy: And I blame you for that.

Me: -glares-

Beast Boy: What?

Me: -glares-

Beast Boy: -starts getting uncomfortable-

**9. His real name is Garfield.**

Beast Boy: Another stupid reason.

Me: Sorry but everytime I or someone else says Garfield, I think of the fat cat, not the green guy from Teen Titans.

Beast Boy: True, but no one really calls me Garfield anymore.

Me: Do you want people to start calling you Garfield?

Beast Boy: . . . . not really.

**10. He's gay. ;) =P**

Beast Boy: Grrrrrrrrr I am not in love with Robin.

Me: Ahhhhh denial's the first stage.

Beast Boy: First stage to what?

Me: Nevermind. =P

Beast Boy: -glares-

Me: Bye!

R&R!

Andrew&BB


	4. Beast Boy's GOTH ANGEL

Me: Hey! BB you owe Dee. -points to BB-

Beast Boy: . . . . for what?

Me: For making Iggy stop laughing in the review.

Beast Boy: Ok? Thanks Dee. So what do I have to do now?

Me: Well you can always kiss her.

Beast Boy: . . . . I'll just give her a hug.

Me: Hugging leads to glomping which leads to potential mauling. XD

Beast Boy: O_o

Me: -reads Me and Max :D- Hey BB! Did you know Max is plotting revenge on you?

Beast Boy: She's WHAT?

Me: Plotting revenge.

Beast Boy: For no reason?

Me: -nods-

Beast Boy: S#$%!

Me: . . . . ehhhhh anyways, we started school. Bleh. XP

Beast Boy: :P

Me: Here's how our math class was.

* * *

Me: -sighs-

Beast Boy: -repeated headdesk- I hate schooollll. -whines-

Mr. Fincher: Andrew! Beast Boy! QUIET!

Me: I wasn't even talking.

Mr. Fincher: Well tell your green friend to shush.

Beast Boy: . . . . dude I swear your math teacher's racist.

Mike: No s#$% sherlock.

Me: I know right.

Sarah: -stares dreamly at BB-

Beast Boy: -smirks-

Sarah: -giggles-

Me: . . . . I hate you.

Beast Boy: Dude it's not my fault I'm so awesome.

Mike: It kinda is. You were on a cartoon show as the tofu-loving, not really funny, big flirt, green guy.

Beast Boy: . . . . should I take that as a compliment?

Me: No.

Beast Boy: -glares-

Mr. Fincher: -whacks table with ruler- I told you three to stop talking.

Beast Boy: You only told me and Andrew, not Mike.

Mr. Fincher: I don't need an opinion from you. Now keep your mouth shut!

Beast Boy: -mutters cuss words-

Mike: -whispers to Andrew- Told you he's racist.

Me: . . . . no s#$% sherlock.

* * *

Beast Boy: Die mother f#$%ing racist math teacher. -pouts-

Me: Damn, lots of anger. Oh and guess what?

Beast Boy: What?

Me: Max saids Raven's your GOTH ANGEL.

Beast Boy: WHAT?

Me: -laughs-

Beast Boy: Grrrrrrrr I will have my revenge on you MAXIMUM "CHARGING OFF" RIDE! -plots revenge on Max-

Me: . . . .

Beast Boy: Ok dude, I have no idea how to plan my revenge. So for now I'll just say Fang is Max's EMO ANGEL. GOOD PLAN! -thumbs up-

Me: . . . .

Beast Boy: :D :D :D

Me: XP XP XP XP

Beast Boy: :D :D :D :D :D

Me: XP XP XP XP XP XP

Beast Boy: :D :D :D :D :D-

Me: ENOUGH!

Beast Boy: . . . .

Me: Hey! Guess what guess what guess what guess wha-

Beast Boy: WHAT!

Me: I work at Burger King. You want fries with that? -whispers-

Beast Boy: O_o -headdesk-

Me: BRAIN DAMAGE! XD

Beast Boy: . . . . weirdo. -mutters-

Me: Saids the green guy who actually likes tofu and is a pervert . . . . buuurrrrnnnn.

Beast Boy: . . . . I am not a pervert.

Me: Yea you are.

Beast Boy: Na uhhhhh.

Me: Yea uhhhhhhh.

Beast Boy: Na uhhhhhhhh!

Me: YEA UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I can prove it!

Beast Boy: How?

Me: Flashback!

* * *

Michelle: -eats a lollipop-

Beast Boy: Yea you like that don't you? -smirks-

Michelle: . . . . -drops lollipop- -whacks- PERV!

Beast Boy: . . . . owwwwwwww.

* * *

Me: -laughs his ass off-

Beast Boy: . . . . no comment.

Me: -gets a text- Iggy asks if we want to watch stuff explode with him.

Beast Boy: Sweet! Let's go! I LOVE EXPLOSIVES! XD

Me: Me too! Let's go! :D

Me and Beast Boy: BYE!

Andrew&BB


	5. Shared Chapter

**Me: Hi! My grandma's B-Day was yesterday, and there was a big party as always. Everyone was there! Michelle, Max, Evelyn, Chris, and bunches of others.**

**Beast Boy: It was BEAST! Soooo here's what happened at night at the party.**

**Me: Michelle also has this chapter on her story too. Guess why they call this a shared chapter. Anyways, this takes place around 10:30. I own nada!**

* * *

Evelyn: Hey! Let's make a birthday rap song for abuelita (grandma).

Max: Like what?

Evelyn: Today, is, your birth-, day.

Evelyn and Michelle: Every, body, is here, for you.

Evelyn: Aaaannnnnnnnnd I don't know the rest.

Chris: And that rap was a horrible remake of Pretty Boy Swag.

Me: True.

Evelyn: Well I like to see you make a rap Chris!

Chris: -glares-

Evelyn: -glares-

Me, Beast Boy, Michelle, Max, and the little kids: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Alanis: I wanna play something Citi! -whines-

Chris: Then go play with Jr.!

Alanis: You guys gotta come too!

Tiffany: We're thinking of a rap right now!

Me: Stop yelling Tiffany!

Tiffany: You stop yelling Andrew!

Everybody: -starts arguing very loudly-

Beast Boy: -gets annoyed- DUUUDDES!

Everybody: . . . .

Michelle: Would you guys please-

Max: SHUTUP!

Everybody: . . . .

Jordan: -grabs Michelle's hand-

Michelle: What's wrong nene?

Jordan: -points at Beast Boy- Green! :D

The little kids: -start laughing-

Sarah: He likes BB.

Beast Boy: I feel special. :)

Chris: What kind of "special"?

Max: -snickers-

Beast Boy: -glares-

Jordan: -goes downstairs-

Michelle: . . . . I'm getting some soda. -leaves-

Beast Boy: Me too. :) -leaves-

Me: Ok then? So now what?

Evelyn: . . . . you wanna just run around the house?

Max: . . . . . meh. What the hell.

The little kids: -start running and screaming around the house-

Chris: Nice plan Evelyn.

Evelyn: I've been thought well. Now let's make that rap! :D

Me, Chris, and Max: Yeah! XD

Max: By the way, where's Michelle and Beast Boy?

Me: Getting some soda.

Max: But that was like 5 minutes ago.

Chris: Who really gives a crap?

Evelyn: Exactly! So let's make the god damn rap already.

Me, Max, and Chris: Ok.

Me: . . . .

Max: . . . . . -spreads wings out a little-

Chris: . . . . . .

Evelyn: . . . . . .

Max: . . . . .

Me: . . . . I got it!

My mom: Andrew! Tiffany! Joshua! Sarah! Beast Boy! Time to leave!

Me: . . . . damn . . . .

Michelle and Beast Boy: -comes back with soda- Damnit.

* * *

**Me: Soo in the end, we never made the rap. By the way, why did it take you and Michelle soo damn long to get a soda?**

**Beast Boy: . . . . that is something I can not say.**

**Me: Why? **

**Beast Boy: Just cause dude, just cause. **

**Me: . . . . . what were you two doing?**

**Beast Boy: -walks away- Nothing.**

**Me: Hmmmmm . . . . -thinks-**

**R&R please!**

**Andrew&BB**


	6. Beast Boy's Slow

Me: Hi! Sorry for not updating, but school really takes a tool on updating.

Beast Boy: Annnnnddd, we got important news dudes.

Me: Me, Michelle, and Evelyn have made a fanfiction account together. It's where we'll write all our group stories. The username is The3CuzzosOfRANDOMNESS. I suggest you check it out. :)

Beast Boy: We were gonna make this chapter about Chris's family garage sale, but we didn't go. :(

Me: -sighs- My mom and dad are soo lazy sometimes, but not to worry. We will make this chapter a music one.

Beast Boy: Dude, we're gonna put songs here? -punchs fist in air- Yes! :D

Me: . . . .

Beast Boy: First song!

* * *

Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down

Beyond the boundaries of your city's lights,  
Stand the heroes waiting for your cries.  
So many times you did not bring this on yourself,  
When that moment finally comes,  
I'll be there to help.

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,  
I'll be right here.  
Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.  
Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,  
We'll always be ready because we will always be there.

* * *

Me: Evelyn and Michelle have literally hooked me on 3 Doors Down. Now I can't stop listening to that song, which is really good. :)

Beast Boy: Meh, it's a cool song. Let's put my favorite song on here. :D

Me: -sighs- Fine.

* * *

Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace

I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!

* * *

Beast Boy: Heh, my favorite song. XD

Me: Of course. -_-

Beast Boy: What do you mean?

Me: Your name is "BEAST" Boy, you can morph into any "ANIMAL", the song is "ANIMAL" I Have Become. It's not that hard to tell.

Beast Boy: . . . . oh . . . .

Me: Next song!

* * *

Insane by Eminem

I was born with a d#$% in my brain, yeah, f#$%ed in the head  
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed  
Till one night he snuck in and said  
"We're goin' out back, I want my d#$% sucked in the shed"

"Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead?"  
"After I f#$% you in the butt, get some head  
Bust a nut, get some rest", the next day my mother said  
"I don't know what the f#$%'s up with this kid"

"The bastard won't even eat nothin', he's fed  
He just hung himself in the bedroom, he's dead"  
"Debbie, don't let that f#$%er get you upset  
Go in there, stick a f#$%in' cigarette to his neck"

"I bet you he's fakin' it, I'll bet you, I'll bet  
He probably just wants to see how upset you would get  
I'll go handle this of course unless you object?"  
"Aw, go f#$% his brains out if any's left in his head"

If you could count the skeletons in my closet  
Under my bed and up under my faucet  
Then you would know I've completely lost it  
Is he nuts? No, he's insane

* * *

Me and BB: O_o . . . .

Beast Boy: . . . . I can see why Evelyn loves this song.

Me: . . . . ditto . . . . one more song then we'll talk about something else.

Beast Boy: M'kay.

* * *

Club Can't Handle Me by Flo Rida

You know I know how  
To make em stop and stare as I zone out  
The club can't even handle me right now  
Watchin you I'm watchin you we go all out  
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)  
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)

Hey  
I own the light and I don't need no help  
Gotta be the feeling that scarface player  
Stuntin go wild can't handle this plan  
Life of the club arrogant like yeah!  
Top like money all the girls just melt  
Want to many all know me like Twelve  
Look like cash and they all just stare  
Bottles, Models, standin on chairs  
Fall out coz that's the business  
All out it's so ridiclous  
Zone out so much attention  
Scream out I'm in the building (hey! )  
They watchin I know this  
I'm rockin I'm rolling  
I'm holding, I know it  
You know it

You know I know how  
To make em stop and stare as I zone out  
The club can't even handle me right now  
Watchin you I'm watchin you we go all out  
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)  
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)

* * *

Beast Boy: Dude, that's an awesome song. :)

Me: -shrugs- Meh, it's ok. Now what can we talk about?

Beast Boy: Errrrr Evelyn kidnapped Robin.

Me: Holy s#$%, she did! Woo! XD

Beast Boy: . . . .

Me: BYE!

Andrew&BB

R&R!


End file.
